She's JV to your varsity
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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