he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
