even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
