words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
