i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
