Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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