Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
