I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think your dad took our porno
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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