Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
