I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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