Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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