he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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