New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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