Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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