when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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