Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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