It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
