I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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