Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
