I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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