God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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