Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
