We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
