conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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