Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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