Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
how does that bad decision feel?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
