how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
