Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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