She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
