And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
