did you get engaged???
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
