You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
