i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
