but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
