Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
there is glitter all over my balls
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
