Will you blow on my dice?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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