Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
