Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
