Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
