I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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