I just saw a hot homeless man
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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