so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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