I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
