I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
