can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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