..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Terrible idea I love it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
