Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
