I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
