I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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