I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
