Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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